I have spent far too many years looking back. The past can be difficult to let go of. It is safe, it is bold, it is young. It is everything we wanted to be but somehow forgot along the way. It is much easier to look back and ridicule yourself for the choices you have made then it is to pick up the pieces and simply move on.
I need to move on. I sit and look back at drawings and paintings and think of how I could have improved since then. I look at the dates in the signatures almost as punishment, a slap on the wrist for the years that have passed.
I need to start again. I need to put aside everything and start again... learn again. I picked up a paint brush a few weeks back to repaint a giant bunny named Kenny that I had made several years ago for my rescue. I felt more at peace than I have in a long time. Kenny isn't anything special, nothing brilliant or profound but it didn't matter - I was happy.
I have come to realise over the past few months how little anyone really knows me and maybe it is time that changed. About 4 1/2 years ago I start writing, sometimes I wrote a lot. Very few people even know this and I think it's time that changed as well... as terrified as I am to do so - it is time. I plan to start painting again, I would like to share that with you and occasionally throw in something from my past as well.
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