16 December 2010


My mind is frosted
Fingers become numb
Thoughts are thickened
Deep cold cracks the ice
So frozen
So sore
Crawl inside your flesh
Lay low in your warmth
I am welcomed

15 December 2010



 One chance
 One time
 One glance inside my mind
 To have one thought
 One love inside us all
 One moment too long
 One time so far beyond
 How can one be so long
 One slip
 One break
 One daring plunge
 One passes on
 One moment
 Yesterday is one
 One memory
 One day
 One come
 Only one can hear my song
 One to carry on
 One joy to you
 One that passes through
 One time created for you
 One laugh
 One child
 One day we are a life
 One pleasure
 One night
 Upon one endless dream
 One time of pride
 Slow one memory
 One sunrise
 One leap of faith
 One twist of fate
 One door
 Bring one conclusion
 One open hand
 One day again
 One never ends
 Beauty of one
 One day will come
 Replace one gone
 One motion
 One howl in the night
 One sadness
 One fight
 One comfort
 One tear shed
 Two to one
 One day will come
 One day again
 Create a new one
 One start again
 One glance inside my mind
 One time
 One chance

04 December 2010

"I See"


 Take apart the pieces that are left of me
 Scatter them around the room
 So plain to see
 You know never know how much is missing
 Until you put them back together
 Maybe they were never lost at all
 Pushed carefully aside
 Under the carpet
 In the folds of the sheets
 My past is easier to swallow
 If I sugar coat the pills
 A life of blacks and whites
 Seems better on the outside
 I prefer to dream in colour
 To know the true taste of blood
 To feel the true sting of a love
 How easily we give hate
 And hoard our love
 Make it untouchable
 It makes no sense
 We choose to make ourselves suffer
 Throw the book away
 Before the end
 No “happily ever after”
 Greed and suffering instead
 Ask questions later
 Ignore ones true nature
 Watch out! Your compassion is showing
 Cover it up
 Before anyone notices
 Don’t stand out
 Your opinion only matters
 If you say what you are told
 Bite the hand that feeds
 If it threatens you with starvation
 Before it eats you alive
 Our freedom is all we have
 It is dear to me

15 November 2010

Twitter #Poems - Two


No flowers
No raindrops
No glistening streams
Just skin
Just bones
Everything in between...
16 July 2010


tiny droplets of water flow together and mingle
as they chase my fingers across your skin
19 July 2010


My string was #wrappedaroundyourfinger
Your eyes were staring down at me
My world was #wrappedaroundyourfinger
Waiting to begin
26 July 2010


Stand, Embrace
The harshness
The rain
She hides
Your tears
From the world
6 September 2010


I dirty the floors with my boots
You hold me close & never lose
Each other forever
Passion never dies
26 September 2010


Dry eyes
Stare through the sun
My mind
Burns through
Thoughts of you
27 September 2010


Red hue
The sky bleeds
Beauty and pain
29 September 2010


23 October 2010

Grandma... All My Luv...

I am having a much more difficult time writing this than I had anticipated.  I have been waiting months for this day and months to write this blog.  My memories are just that, they are close to me, buried deep in the essence of the person I am today.  I cared very deeply for and was very close to my grandmother.  She was the only grandparent that I had ever really known.  My father and grandparents all passed away when I was quite young, too young to have many real memories of them.  My mother and grandmother filled those voids as best they could.

On October 23, 2007 my grandmother passed away.  I attempt to avoid the cliches but sometimes it is completely unavoidable... to say it seems like it was only a few short months ago yet a life time ago in the same breath.  Seems like a common feeling when dealing with the loss of a loved one, but I digress.

My reason for wanting to write this was to share with you the two poems I wrote for my grandmother the day she passed away.  So... ..


I know you are at peace
Though you lie beyond my reach
I wish you were still here near me
I know your spirit is finally free
No longer trapped or held back
You fly free of burden
Your shell had cast you in
Shake the feelings of loss
That I hold for you
I know that I will never lose you
You are always in my heart
I am always in your heart
Let your heart guide you
Let my luv shine a light



Did you find what you were searching for?
Do you know the love you have been waiting for?
Have you found the peace you are deserving of?
Are you again all you know that you are?

Are you missing us, as we are missing you?
Do you know how much you have given us?
Do you know how much I am missing you
Do you know I need you right now…

Dora Wilson
Dec 22 1921 - Oct 23 2007

22 October 2010

Twitter #Poems - One

Sometimes my mind flies, what I write seems to have no end and goes on for pages. Sometimes it is less, much less but no less satisfying when I look back a few days later to see what my mind has been up to.

Sometimes what I write is 140 characters or less!! More often I am finding myself inspired to write by those that I surround myself with through twitter (and I thank you all for that) and sometimes my twitter page is staring me in the face and it is as good as any scrap of paper when thoughts cross my mind.

On a twitter feed each though is fleeting and lost in a sea of words (140 characters or less!) so quickly...

I thought I would start reposting them here, again, but many more characters at a time!



I sought to untangle the webs that I weave
but you were happy to crawl up inside with me.
9 May 2010


Your touch, so cruel
My bite, so cruel
Our love, so cruel
So tender, with you...
9 May 2010


Torn from loving hands
Cut and bruised your heart
A shattered love affair
Moving on..
15 June 2010


Tempted by your coy brown eyes
Tempted by your warm soft thighs
Listen to our starlit cries
22 June 2010


I am who I believe I am
Not who I seem to be
Do you know the real me
Or just who you choose to see
27 June 2010


I need to make sense
The thoughts in my head
Like a snakes skin
The old must be shed
Make room for the present
Leave the past behind..
29 June 2010


Bit my lip
Taste the blood
Against my tongue
Feels good
Knowing I am alive
1 July 2010


12 October 2010

"To Live Again"


 In the dark of the night
 In the thin hours of the morning
 Alone with my thoughts
 Alone with the burden
 I’ve been here before
 Now I lie alone

 I’ve seen myself die
 Do I have the strength to live again
 Should I think only of myself
 Or do you wish this of me too
 I don’t know what to do

 I feel myself shaking
 To live once again
 Are they my dreams
 Or my nightmares
 Or just one in the same

 Do I plunge in again
 Throw my ashes to the wind
 Let the sea cleanse my soul
 Wash one life away
 Continue in another

 It is mine to take
 It is yours to give
 Do I take the chance
 Is it there to begin with
 Do I have the strength to live again

 Will I feel it happen
 I just dream of something
 In a hope that will never come
 I just dread of something
 In a hope that it is going to come

 I hold my breath
 I can breathe again
 Anticipation of my only prayer
 Please, I hold my breath
 Let me live again
 I am cold
 I am alone
 I am alive
 To my knowledge
 I breathe
 Lost to all the lessons I have learned
 I must learn again

 I am alive
 Though the ones that I love
 The faces I knew
 Drift passed me unfeeling
 The memories are mine
 I do not recall
 They elude me
 Though my presence
 I feel is real

 In the dark of the night
 In the thin hours of the morning
 Alone with my thoughts
 Alone with the burden
 I’ve been here before
 Do I have the strength to live again

06 October 2010

My Motley Crue... one last time

Back in May I introduced you to my Motley Crue in a blog post. He was having some health issue that, well, were breaking my heart and causing me heaps of worry.

It has taken me a bit of time to decide to finally write this and tell you how things went but tonight seemed the night.

A short time after writing the above mention blog I received the news. Motley was diagnosed with Intestinal Lymphoma. He began treatment and rapidly improved... for a time. He played and ate and did "Motley" things. He was his regular cheerful self. When his health would change, his medication would be altered and he would immediately improve again. His prognosis was not good and we knew that all too well but thanks to his amazing Vet, Motley was able to spend so much time with us that he did not have and he did not waste a second of it.

Motley was with me until it was his time. The cancer had spread throughout his body in only a handful of months. I had never wanted to make the decision that now stood before me. I know this is a decision that has plagued many people. I didn't want to say good bye to him on a cold sterile exam table surrounded by strangers. In the end I didn't. Even though he wasn't in his home in the ultimate scenario that had played in my head years before... He past from here, held in my arms surrounded by those who luved him. It is all anyone could want.

Motley passed away exactly 15 years from the day I first brought him home

A thank you Steve for giving him the time he didn't have and for caring so much for him and for all animals.

Rest in Peace Motley Crue. xxx

05 October 2010

"Glass Eyes"


 These glass eyes
 Embedded in the head
 Eyes to the soul
 These glass eyes
 Belong to a soul
 Long dead
 To see
 To taste
 To feel the world
 To dive inside your mind
 The power to see
 Even when blind
 To chase the demons
 Out of sight
 Out of mind
 Shut behind
 Glass door
 To see
 To taste
 To feel no more
 Trapped behind glass eyes

18 September 2010

"For Me, For You"


So soft of voice
So warm to the touch
Do I trail off in your presence?
Your breath completes my thoughts
Arms around me
Complete my shell
In your comfort
I fall
In your thoughts
I lie

In your eyes, such loss
In your heart such hope
For me, for you
Never apart
Someday together
Does that scare you?
Does that tear your
Something so vast
Beyond me, beyond you

So empty
Tipped and spilt
Find the future
In what is now before us
For me, for you

10 September 2010

"I Want"


 I want to be moved
 By the things that I say
 I want to hear
 The things that are said to me
 I want to know
 The things I should understand
 I want to be blessed
 By the things that are given to me

 I want to be
 What I want to be
 I want to say
 What I want to say
 I want to be
 Who I am inside
 Throw my inhibitions away
 Come alive

09 September 2010

"I Am Dead"


 I am dead
 Blood has hardened
 Flesh is rotten
 Bones are broken
 I am dead
 Did you fail to notice?
 Or has it been so long
 Since you cared to see?
 Where I used to be
 Lies vacant
 I am dead
 The air lies still
 Once filled with life
 With laughter
 Now only silence
 I am dead
 My eyes hold no light
 My mind holds no thoughts
 My heart no longer beats
 I am dead

04 September 2010

Autumn is being to fall

To start, I am aware that I have a Maple Tree growing in a pot in my kitchen and I am aware that this is less than normal but, C'est la vie. No one ever said I was 'normal'.

I met this little guy months ago when I was pulling weeds for the flower garden. When I pulled him from the garden with roots and all I decided that he deserved a second chance and planted him in a pot to help him recuperate from this traumatic event before finding him a new, more permanent home. He has been my kitchen companion for months now. He has almost double in size and seems and has been quite happy about his new vocation. Life as a house plant must seem easy compared to the hardships he sees his kinfolk endure outside the window.

At one point in the last week or so, while spending some quality dish washing time with my companion I notice that his leaves where beginning to 'brown' at the tips. Being a 'house plant' my first assumption was that I had neglected to water him, thus doing so immediately. As the days past his little leaves continued to dry at the tips. I accepted the fact that like all my house plant, eventually they lose there battle and succumb to my inadequate green thumb.

A few days ago my mind caught up. It finally occurred to me the my little friend was not dying but changing colours. Not like a 'house plant' but like his wild cousins he watches through the kitchen window... yeah, it sometimes takes me a bit to see the obvious!!

Not sure if my little friend is going to winter inside or if I will find him a new home this fall but i know we are going to have to have 'the talk' soon. I shall tell him what he truly is... hope he takes it well.



Sitting in my room
Staring out my window
Condensation falls past my eyes
Down through my own perspective
Such compassion and understanding
I can’t help but feel the same
Bring me warmth
Bring me comfort
Protect me from the cold swiftness
That lurks outside my room
Just outside my window
Through the glory of my days
Through the frosty cold stare of my nights
Open wide
When all darkness passes
Body warmed by a womb
Of comfort and pleasure
Soul soothed by the protection you give
Sitting in my room
Staring out my window

31 August 2010

Bunny Bean Bag Toss

I spend the last few weeks rushing to make a Bean Bag Toss game in time for my rescue's BIG fundraiser (Bunny Hop for Hope 2010).  It was a bit rushed at times as it was not the only task i had on my plate but it was finished with a whopping two days to spare!!

Check out the pictures of it's progress below!

First night I was able to get her sketched out and
get the sky painted!!

Finished the grass and started the sun & tulips.

Close up on the soon to be bunny (nameless at this point!)

Almost done but I wanted to get the holes cut out before
going any further... and that took a few days!

Holes cut!!

The finished bean bag toss!
Introducing Bentley the Bunny!!

Close up on Miss Bentley.

I am really quite proud of how well it turned out.  She's so cute and everyone at the Bunny Hop really seemed to enjoy her!

At the Bunny Hop for Hope 2010!!

At the Bunny Hop for Hope 2010!!

21 August 2010

"Glass Flower"

It was five years ago today that I first picked up my pen and decided to start writing. Glass Flower is the first poem I ever wrote, probably the first anything that I ever wrote creatively.  So today, 5 years later I wanted to share it with you.



Mother, star
One life attempted
Glass flower

Bleed for me
Be for me
Die for me
A glass flower never wilts
How can you exist?
My glass flower never lived

Angel, devil
Beauty attempted
Glass flower

Bleed for me
Be for me
Die for me
A glass flower never wilts
How can you exist?
My glass flower never lived

Head up, eyes down
Who are you today?
Who you pretend to be

Bleed for me
Be for me
Die for me
A glass flower never wilts
How can you exist?
My glass flower never lived

Wilt for me glass flower
One life defended
One life denied

14 August 2010

"The Shadow of the Day"


 In the shadow of the day
 You lie on the carpet
 Of my room
 Where I once lay
 In peace and solitude
 Spread out full in blossom
 To feel the warmth
 In spirit
 That I lay beneath you
 In the shadow of the day

 A silken body
 Naked in soul
 A free a spirit
 I long to behold
 I touch you once
 Lips so hot with life
 I touch you twice
 Your eyes as cold as ice
 To tease me with
 The thoughts you hold so close
 Hold me close
 Follow your voice

 Now you lie in a room so bare
 Close your eyes
 You still see me there
 Perched upon the bottom stair
 I laugh, you cry
 Touch of sex in my eyes
 I laugh, you cry
 Here we are always alive
 Here you feel no need
 For goodbyes
 Together we lie

10 August 2010

"Never Forget"

 Did you forget?
 Will you forget?
 Have I been forgotten?

 Will I be forgotten?
 Will I slip away?
 Will I be forgotten?
 Something lost
 Slides from consciousness
 Slips from memory
 Only a distance past

 Alone and empty
 Waiting for a path
 Waiting for the past
 Waiting for the future

 Lies in the past
 Lies in memory
 Fading for eternity
 Waiting for what was
 Waiting for the next day
 That never came

 Do I wait for you?
 I wait for you
 Do you go on?
 I stay behind

 Do I linger?
 I linger
 Stuck in the past
 Only am I past

 Carry on
 You always carry on
 Left behind
 Waiting for before
 Before a change
 All is the same
 Faltered in the past
 Always without change

 Will I wait?
 I always wait
 Don’t forget
 I never forget

01 August 2010



 Remove the chains
 See the world through red stained glasses
 Forced upon
 To disguise the truth
 Now the reality it has become
 Grass grows beneath you
 Leech the life from inside
 Tenderness, sweetness
 Inconceivable beauty
 Stolen from you

 Let your senses and perception fall from you
 Let your touch guide you
 Let your senses unfold
 Beyond your understanding
 Beyond the truth that is shown to you

 Remove the chains
 Walk naked for me
 Walk past the confines of society
 Show the world what you’re made of
 Don’t let them see what you’re afraid of

 Walk naked for me
 Strip away the lies that cover you
 Cover us all
 Feel the cold harshness of reality
 Whip against your body
 Our bodies

 No longer able to hide
 Where we once did
 No concern for where it might
 Take you
 Take us

 Throw your arms to the wind
 Scream at the sky
 Walk naked for me
 Remove the chains
 Walk naked for me

28 July 2010

A Step In The Right Direction

Ok... Here goes...

For those of you that have been peeking at my blog over the last few months or have recently taken an interest in it (thank you so much BTW!)...  Well I finally did it!  I put brush to canvas and painted something. It's nothing too special.  I really just wanted to get the feel of the brush in my hands, the paint on the canvas and the smell of the paint back in my mind.

I am pretty proud of it all things considered and I did enjoy doing it although I am still not sure if I am done fussing with it.

I painted it while hiding out in my basement from a wicked heat wave that we had a few weeks back.  I guess you could say that was what inspired me.

It has taken me this long to have the nerve to show it to anyone.  In fact, with the exception of my best friend you are the first to see this.  I debated just squirreling it away... saving it until I had improved and could let people see it with a side of mockery and belittlement towards the little guy.

I think that this is better, although far more unnerving...

"Heat" 2010
Mixed Media on Canvas

27 July 2010


 I see you standing there
 So strong and in control
 I see you standing there
 So lost and in the cold
 I wanna hold you in my arms
 Until you are warm
 I wanna hold you in my arms
 Help you weather the storm
 I see you standing there
 Surrounded by those who care
 I see you standing there
 Trapped in voices that stare
 I wanna hold you in my arms
 In me you can confide
 I wanna hold you in my arms
 Not afraid to see you cry

 I see you standing there
 So strong and in control
 I see you standing there
 So lost and in the cold
 I wanna hold you in my arms
 Shield you from harm
 I wanna hold you in my arms
 Let calm replace, no need for alarm

 I see you standing there
 Drowning in the rain
 I see you standing there
 Blind and crippled in your pain

 I wanna hold you in my arms
 Raise your head, dry your eyes
 I wanna hold you in my arms
 Here you will never die

23 July 2010

"A Note"

A Note

A rustle of papers
By the side of the bed
In search of the tools
I needed in haste
As the thoughts in my head
Find pen to paper
Leave you words to wake to
All that needs to be said
I love you

19 July 2010

My Green Thumb??

OK, beyond the poetry... beyond the painting... and beyond the photography that I wish I could make...

I luv the earth, being part of the earth, bury my naked feet in the sand or dirt. As a child it was a full out fight to get me to wear my shoes. As an adult, I'm not much better. I do what i can to avoid shoes. I COULD be a retail stores worst nightmare but thanks to Doc Martin I can compromise! I even cut the grass bare foot, which seems to scare most people close to me but I do digress as this has very little to do with what my feet are up too!

My Beautiful Lilies

The fact that I am, by chinese astrology's interpretation an "Earth Sheep" must have something to do with this. Perhaps it is the reason that I believe I can garden! Well, if you mean that I can grow things, including weeds... I guess I am a gardener..err...umm Well at least I try and enjoy what I create!

My Garden, young, naive...

Weeds are giving me more than a bit of a hassle this year.

In fact, they had taken a firm foothold in my garden and the casualties are high. If you take into account the carrot, beet and kale populations the casualties are in the thousands. I can honestly say - I fought the fight. I went head to head with my garden and I lost. I've raised my white flag & hope that she will grant me a tomato or two... perhaps a cucumber in return. I will let the dead rest and salvage what I can. Next year I will stand firm and hope that no weed dare challenge me!

I hope that next year that weeds don't stand between me, my garden and everything else my life throws at me!

My Garden... my she rest in peace.

Cheers to gardening, or at least my feeble, sad attempt at it!!



I’m gonna breathe a sigh
Run my fingers across your lips
Breathe a sigh
Your hands upon my hips
Breathe a sigh
Your eyes still glisten
From the tears you cried
Breathe a sigh
In peace for a short time

I’m gonna breathe a sigh
Hold you close beneath the sheets
Breathe a sigh
I taste you, so sweet
Breathe a sigh
Feel the heat of your skin
As our bodies lie together
Breathe a sigh
In peace for a short time

I’m gonna breathe a sigh
Follow the lines my lips trace
Breathe a sigh
My hair falls upon your face
Breathe a sigh
Listen to the whispers
Of peace in your eyes
Breathe a sigh
In peace for a short time

16 July 2010

"One World Apart"


I feel your lips against my skin
My heart was yours
Yours to give
Away if you choose

I’m lying on the floor
Torn and bruised
Scratching at our fate
Like a dog abused

Leave me in the cold
Hold me in your arms
Always together
But we’re always apart

We are tied together
We are cut apart
Our lives are one
One world apart

We are tied together
We are cut apart
Our lives are one
One world apart

You look to me
I make you breathe
I look to you
You breathe life in my eyes

When we are together
You’re always somewhere else
You’re always someone else

We are tied together
We are cut apart
Our lives are one
One world apart

12 July 2010



You are such a sweet thing
And you are loved
Wipe your tears away
You are never alone
Always with you
You are never alone

Father, he loved you
It’s a shame he didn’t stay with you
He feels you with his heart
With his eyes, he holds you
Never leaves you alone

You are such a sweet thing
And you are loved
Wipe your tears away
You are never alone
Always with you
You are never alone

Mother, she loves you
It’s a shame she cannot show you
She wishes she understood your life
Tries so hard to be your all
She will understand you before the fall

You are such a sweet thing
And you are loved
Wipe your tears away
You are never alone
Always with you
You are never alone

Don’t think you are not noticed
Don’t think no one cares
You are never alone
You are never alone

29 June 2010



Fails to see the beauty
In today
Fails to see the light
Just slips away

Fails to feel your touch
Fails to feel your soul

Fails to feel what it's like
to not be alone

22 June 2010

"What I Run From"


A light
A glow
Is all I see

To taste
What’s real
Is what I seek

To feel
To need
To understand
Why I do

To chase
To see
What I run from
Is me

16 June 2010

"The Rain"


The rain is cold
It chills my skin
As it rolls down my arm
Down my hand
Down my finger
Pools with the mass
Now surrounding my hand

The rain is cold
Though I do not move
I do not shelter myself from it's
Empty, lonely grasp

The rain is cold
It clings to my body
Holds me to itself
Traps us in its
Ever growing intimacy
So tender its touch
So icy its hold on me

The rain is cold
In solitude we sit
Peaceful despair
We now share

The rain is cold
It chills my soul
Dilutes my resolve
My colours bleed
I become unseen
Washed away
With the day

"Take a Moment"


Take a moment
Strip away all these lies
Don’t lead me down the wrong path
Take a moment
Give me a moment
I will find my own demise

Take a moment
Live without sin
Just for a moment
It’s harder than it looks

Take a moment
Cover up all your lies
You don’t think anyone notices them
Take a moment
Give me a moment
I’ve got my own lies to hide

Take a moment
Make a mistake, take a picture
Forget what you learned again
Take a moment
Give me a moment
I can play the fool as well

Take a moment
Live without stupidity
Just for one moment
It’s harder than it looks

Take a moment
Sit down and face your fears
Lie in fear of what you have caused
Take a moment
Give me a moment
While I wait and fear the sunrise

Take a moment
Look at the pain you cause yourself
Lose sight of happiness
Take a moment
Give me a moment
While I take my share of self abuse
Take a moment
Live without regret
Just for one moment
It’s harder than it looks

Take a moment
Try to forget the nightmares
Steal away the dreams you once had
Take a moment
Give me a moment
I lie awake at night as well

Take a moment
Forget about how it was supposed to be
Time passes no matter what
Take a moment
Give me a moment
It seemed so simple when I was young

Take a moment
Live without love
Just for one moment
It’s harder than it looks

08 June 2010

"Show Me"


I need to find a way
To occupy my mind
To unbury the passion
I know exists deep inside
The vehicle I drive
Of flesh and bone
Distracts me from
My clearest path
Pollute my inner self
Show me clearly
The understanding I lack

Sip of wine
Warms my veins
Clears my mind
Of worries I create
Distract me for a while
So I can feel
Where I need to be
Until I burn again
Burn alive
In the problems I create

04 June 2010

Warm summer night,
Cool breeze in the air,
Quiet patter of foot steps,
Drift through the air,
My sweet kitty lays against me,
So I know he is always there...

02 June 2010

"I Am At Peace"


I feel the answer
To my questions are near
My head upon your thigh
With your breath
I see your stomach rise
I see your skin pulse
With every beat of your heart

I feel a thought
The answers to all my questions
Lies beneath your skin

I am at peace

I have not failed
If I live inside you
To hide inside you
Where I want to be
Pull your skin over me
Sleep and dream
You give me life

I have the strength
That time has taken from me
Hide inside your arms

I am at peace

28 May 2010

Naturally Inspired - One

Potential new studio is getting closer to being ready, to being my new hiding spot, my little get away, oasis... Unfortunately right now it is functioning as a "catch all". Some sort of strange vortex is pulling all the junk that has no place or home in to the center of the room which makes it very difficult to prepare or start using my new studio space. Until I have removed all the accumulating junk and find away to permanently seal this vortex I will have to continue waiting to put brush to canvas for the first time in many years...

Until such a time I will share with you a few of my OLD paintings from years ago. These painting have one commonality, the fact that they are all in some way inspired by nature. Please enjoy....

"Riverbed" 2004
Acrylic on Canvas

"Copper Meadow" 2003
Mixed Media on Canvas

"The Forest" 2004
Acrylic on Canvas